Showing posts with label life coach. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life coach. Show all posts
It's in the Rub
I sometimes joke when something hurts me that I have to pull my shell on a little tighter; protection from the irritant, if you will. I have come to realize I have some classic symptoms of being a highly sensitive person. It's a thing! You can read more about it here if you are so inclined, but basically, shall we say ~ a lot of things annoy me. For me personally, it stems from sensory (over) stimulation.
I notice EVERYTHING ~ the good, the bad and the ugly. So, it would make sense that I make my career (life) out of making things around me beautiful!
Like a little grain of sand irritating a clam, something beautiful can come from it. It starts with awareness.
My friends know I need to pick a table away from loud people in a restaurant. I have been known to move seats a time or two. In any crowed environment, I hate being too close to someone. I feel things deeply, and that is certainly a blessing and a curse! I run from toxicity (if I can) and I cannot wrap my head around thoughtless people. It makes me CRAZY. "People who FaceTime in public shouting into the air, I'm talking to you!"
BUT, because I know this about myself, I have compensated by "up-leveling" experiences. In a restaurant, I make sure we get a nice, quieter table. In a hotel I ask for a quiet room, preferably away from the elevator. I look for places that are less crowded so as not to be on top of people. I often sit in the quiet car traveling back and forth to New York if I am alone. In other words, I manage my life (to the best of my ability) in a way that keeps me emotionally healthy. I work with dependable people, I surround myself with support. My home is my sanctuary. I try to minimize the things that hurt me and maximize the things that bring me joy. That's just good common sense!
You don't need to be a highly sensitive person to make sure you maximize pleasant experiences and dial down the noise. In our 24/7 noise polluted world, stepping into a quiet moment is good for your overall health! Studies have shown that if you schedule 2 minutes a day of "quiet time" you are giving yourself such a gift. Our stress levels and blood pressure come down. The chatter in your mind is quieted, clarity has an opportunity to come through. In silence we can listen to our intuition, think creatively and tune into our emotions.
In silence, ponder what makes you happy~ do more of that. What feels stressful, how can you limit it? If you love flowers, send them to yourself weekly! If someone is driving you crazy, don't engage them. If your kids are driving you nuts, step away momentarily. Make your home as beautiful and as functional as possible. If you're not happy with something only you have the power to change it.
Make things that "rub you the wrong way" into opportunities for enhancement. It's like stringing one magnificent pearl after another into a Chanel necklace. You have made something positive from a negative. That is what I mean by "up- leveling" experiences. It is similar to the idea of making lemonade out of lemons, but waaay prettier!
and that's another example of Living beautiFULLY
#alifecoachlesson
Great Expectations
*A Coaching Lesson
You know how something happens and it stays with you, it bothers you. That loop starts playing in your monkey
mind, going around and around?
I was out to dinner a few weeks ago with girlfriends. I had had a long day and was looking forward to having a delicious drink. My drink of choice always involves Vodka, more often than not Tito's, with variations of other ingredients such as ~ a splash of cranberry juice and muddled mint (I have a slight obsession with mint), possibly a cucumber mint martini or some kind of vodka infusion, like a Stoli doli (vodka seeped in pineapples). On this occasion I ordered whatever the name of the drink was that had vodka, elderflower, tonic and fresh lime. I asked for it without the tonic. I don't like bubbles and it takes the drink in another direction. We waited a ridiculously long time for the drinks to come and when they did come, I asked the waitress, is there tonic in whatever the name of the drink was? She responded no. I said, "There are bubbles." She took it away but came back quickly about to put the drink down in front of me again and said,
"The bartender gave you a splash of soda, instead of tonic." I asked her to take it back and have the bartender make me the drink with NO BUBBLES. I must have said it with a slight attitude. When I asked for the drink with no tonic, I assumed he was including all the other ingredients and just omitting the tonic, not taking it upon himself to add an ingredient that was not even included in the drink. It did not occur to me to say "and nothing else" when ordering. You don't order an omelette for example off the menu that reads spinach, mushroom, and American cheese and say, "I'd like it with spinach, mushroom and no American cheese." Then the omelette comes and it has spinach, mushroom and mozzarella cheese. This made no sense to me! I told the lovely waitress with the drink in her hand to take it back. I didn't want it anymore. I felt so disappointed. Honestly, it was an easy fix and a silly misunderstanding, but my disappointment over rode my intellect in that moment.
My girlfriend turned to me and said I was rude to the waitress. I felt terrible! I didn't mean to be rude to the waitress. That was not my intention. I don't want to be that person that is rude to waitstaff: Ever! Hell, I was a waitress for years and it's a hard job. Why was I rude to the waitress? For two days it played out in my mind. What could I have done differently? Why did I handle the situation the way I did? I don't want to be the person who brings that kind of energy into a situation. Why, why, why? It was honestly ridiculous that I was obsessing about this for so long.
AHA! The reason was UNMET EXPECTATIONS. I was expecting a drink just the way I like it. That was my mistake. Of course when something little and seemingly insignificant like this scenario occurs, it is always indicative of a bigger issue. By Jones I think I've got it! I am more often than not disappointed when I have an expectation about something, anything, and it is not fulfilled the way I wish it should be. This is not a new conversation that I have with myself and is fairly common for most of us. I have to learn to let it go, not become focused on what is not working but on what I can control and how it can work for me. It was just a perfect little metaphor showing itself in an unexpected way.
People do not bend to our will. Places and things just are what they are. There is no conspiracy to "piss us off" or cosmically conspire against us. When expectations are not met, disappointment or frustration set in and we just have to do our best to turn our thoughts around, tell ourselves a different story. Things happen for us, not to us. I guess I needed a little reminder.
I need to work on replacing expectation with appreciation. Do you? This is not uncommon. I may make a similar mistake in the future, but I have an awareness now that I did not have before. I will hopefully recall this situation, behave differently, thereby not allowing this to happen again. There's the growth! When you know better you can do better!
CHEERS TO THAT
Do you have an issue you's like to be coached around?
Let's talk
carrie@carrieleskowitzinteriors.com
A (mind) Makeover
I cannot peg when this feeling began to take hold, like a nagging ache that wouldn't quit. Sadly, weeks turned to years, as often is the case before we say enough is enough. We get tired of feeling tired, complaining, not living the life we knew we were meant to live, feeling stuck in circumstances that we don't know how to change. When we start with a solid frame, everything from there has a strong foundation to support what follows. Sometimes a complete tear down is necessary, sometimes it's just a matter of moving a few walls or sweeping out a few cobwebs. That's where I found myself. This is my story.
Picture an interior designer feeling uninspired in the exact place she is looking for clients. Imagine a Philadelphia designer disliking Philadelphia and the neighborhood in which she resides. That was me. It was defining me, leaving an impression of myself with people that was less than positive. This was not who I wanted to be. Incidentally, I don't hate Philly, it's just that I have been in this area all my life, in the same house for 27 years. I was longing for newness, unpredictability, connectedness to something else, something not yet named. My children grew up and long left. I began to feel really ashamed of myself for feeling so unhappy while simultaneously being very blessed in life. It didn't have to make sense, our feelings are our feelings! Plus, the stamina it took to be unhappy and complain was exhausting.
Why not move is the obvious question? I am always about fixing things. If you are not happy, what will it take to make you happy? This was the conundrum! The answer for me was, because I choose Steven!
Everything in life is a trade off. I have a remarkable husband and am in an amazing marriage. Philadelphia is where he works and that is where I must live if I want to live with Steven. So, on to the next question. What can one do if they want to change their circumstances but have little control? Feeling stuck sucks! The simple, yet not so simple answer is, "change your brain."
What can I do to change the way I feel about the circumstances I find myself in? I am so passionate about interior design. I love what I do, another blessing. I just had to really look at what was in my power. I will try to manifest designing vacation homes and homes outside of Philadelphia as well as those in my backyard. I will travel more, say yes to opportunities I might otherwise have turned down, dig deeper, dream bigger. Something about the universe having your back goes to work. I always wanted to travel and work, meet interesting people doing interesting things, live a life full of passion and authenticity. I found spirituality along the way. Incorporating mindfulness and being attuned to how our home holds limiting beliefs and helps us heal on a deeper level was the by product of my coach training. I found a way to merge the two seemingly disparate concepts together.
I design, I coach, I speak and I mentor. I constantly work on being a better person, a happier person, a more fulfilled person. We can all be better body, mind and spirit when we are open to growth and Design from Within. If any of this resonates ~ let's talk.
#alifecoachlesson
The Gift of You
They say it is better to give than receive. Well, I often think (no matter the decision at hand) why do I have to pick one or the other? So, here's an idea that makes you the giver AND the receiver.
Give the gift of happiness, acceptance, worthiness, abundance. Make this the year of "good enough!"
We spend so much time and energy beating ourselves up verbally with a lot of negative self talk, comparing ourselves to others, fearing failure and a whole host of other messages that mess us up. We are bombarded with so much these days; staying on track, living authentically, listening to your inner voice and not the outer world ~ it can be difficult.
Why not make the New Year the year of Enough. The year of Living BeautiFULLY! Make possible the joy of giving and the lifelong benefits of receiving. That's a win/win if I have ever heard of one. Break the vicious cycle and spend time more fully engaged in what makes you merry and bright.
Set the intention to work with me to help you clear blocks that keep you in the vicious cycle of lack and attack. Email me to see if this is the year to get clear, get coached and get on with your life.
3 and 6 month packages available or virtual design perhaps, to make sure your outer space matches your inner space.
carrieleskowitzinteriors.com
carrie@carrieleskowitzinteriors.com
215 718-0003
#lifecoachlesson
You do You
Yesterday I attended What's New, What's Next at the New York Design Center. I heard a lot of inspirational speakers and saw a lot of beautiful product. What stuck with me the most was a talk my friends Corey Damon Jenkins and Robin Baron gave. They spoke honestly and from the heart about climbing the entrepreneurial ladder, trials and tribulations, branding and authenticity. This seemed to strike a cord with the standing room only audience. The Q and A could have gone on far longer than it did and everyone seemed truly engaged in this topic of authenticity, which really struck me in the "smoke and mirrors" world we live in.
In that vein, as a nod to the conversation and because I am now straddling two passions; that of coaching and design, "taking a life coach approach to interior design" or "designing a new story," I am here to say honestly and authentically, "I am frazzled, fried, uninspired and overwhelmed!" I sat down to write a blog post and... Crickets. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. My mind is elsewhere. I am preoccupied.
And guess what? THAT'S OK!
The message of the importance of authenticity is a tale as old as time, but it is resonating more than ever. In business, relationships, time management, the violence we are bombarded with, life feels hard sometimes. Rather than being open, we sometimes hide a part of ourselves away or push through the pain of it all. We are hard on ourselves, we create more stress. We've been told,"fake it till you make it." I'm not gonna lie, there is a place for that, but not in lieu of losing our essential self. The stuff that makes us uniquely us.
I decided to make this blog post about my not feeling like writing a teaching moment. I am so excited to delve into this and so much more along with the design posts you are accustomed to. Hopefully I can wrap it all in a beautiful bow, because even yucky feelings are a gift sometimes.
fashion ph: Mira Mikata, painting:Mel Bochner
Under Construction
Exciting things are coming to Carrie Leskowitz Interiors and Carrie's Design Musings. Design From Within is a new website, a new look, a new message that not only encompasses great design, what's new and noteworthy, artisans that inspire, entertainment and travel, but also living more creatively and mindfully. We will forge a path to "Live Beauti-FULLY." This includes not only what your home looks like or what it says about you, but also the inner dialogue. Limiting beliefs, or the thoughts and feelings that you hold onto, that hold you back from living your best life full of passion and promise often times are reflected in your home and vice versa. You can manifest a peaceful retreat for your mind, body, and spirit by getting clear in the areas that might be causing you some dissatisfaction. Think of it like a makeover for your Home, Head, and Heart.
Design From Within communicates ~ Our living space is mirrored by our inner space.
I am really excited! Follow along and look for in the fall launch.
A Metamorphasis
met·a·mor·pho·sis
1.
Biology. a profound change in form from onestage to the next in the life history of anorganism, as from the caterpillar to the pupa andfrom the pupa to the adult butterfly.
2.
a complete change of form, structure, orsubstance, as transformation by magic orwitchcraft.
3.
any complete change in appearance, character,circumstances, etc.
4.
a form resulting from any such change.
Going through the life coach training is a metamorphosis of sorts. I am not the same person I was before this training. Not unlike any personal transformation or dramatic event we all face in life, a reinvention of ourselves, death, divorce, loss of job, empty nest, etc, etc., you need to melt down and begin again.
When a caterpillar moves through a life cycle, it molts. As we grow, we shed our skin, figuratively speaking. We mature and outgrow situations, people, or lifestyles that no longer serve us. We are constantly moving towards becoming the person we were meant to be. It takes hard work!
In the chrysalis stage ~ we crystallize or give form to this new identity. As we move through this stage we change and grow, putting new systems into place that support our new path psychologically and/or physically. A new hair style, new friendship, moving, or just rearranging furniture, COACHING to help us get clear ~ anything that helps us "own" our new identity.
At the end of that road, after all the hard work has been done, when you look in the mirror and know with all your heart you have reached a place of contentment, acceptance, and knowledge,you have evolved into the person you were truly meant to be. There is nothing more beautiful!
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| photo Andrew Soule |
Cherish that moment, for it will change yet again
Mountains as Metaphor
As I incorporate my coaching into my design practice and my design practice into my coaching, there will often be times when the blog takes a more mindful turn. I am so interested in this term as it applies to our life. Blogs are fluid. They express each of our personal voices. This is my journey, and it would be unauthentic if my blog did not express that. I think this term "mindfulness" is a huge buzzword moving forward. It's not a trend, but an awareness that we are seeing in everything from talking of bringing it into our school system to how it translates into every facet of our life, our home, and the choices we make on a daily basis that are ours and ours alone. How beautiful is the freedom of knowing that?
With that in mind, I want to tell you a little Christmas story ~
On the warm weather portion of my vacation, I was on a spinning bike, counting my blessings one minute, then soon after found myself in an unanticipated situation that knocked me off kilter. Life threw me a curve ball (as it sometimes is bound to do) and I was rocked to my core. Something happened that really stunned and hurt me! I picked myself up, dusted myself off and went on to plan B. No sooner had I thought, "All right this isn't so bad," I was kicked when I was down. With no warning, no notice, no concern for my well being, I was hurt again. I found myself flailing around, I lost my footing, I was feeling sorry for myself, and was angry at whomever. Thinking that life was unfair, I kept going over and over in my mind, "Why did this happen to me, and what am I meant to take away from this?" Walking in the rain, thru my tears I shouted, "I choose LOVE!" My thoughts created suffering. The anger was to cumbersome. Holding onto that felt like a worse alternative. I have a choice and I choose love! I do it for me!
On the 2nd leg of my wonderful winter vacation, I got to the mountains and I found peace. I was studying the mountains and thought how much life is like the peaks and valleys of a mountain range as they were laid out before me. It's as if we are always ascending or descending a mountain. One minute we're up, the next we may take a tumble down. We get up, brush ourselves off, and begin to scale again.
The path more often than not will not be straight. There are always curves ahead. Intersections are an everyday occurrence, but chose the path of least resistance and the struggle feels lighter. Actually, struggle is not freedom and freedom is always the goal.
When one thing doesn't work, if we wait a minute or two, keep our eyes wide open, a new opportunity will present itself. Be open, be flexible, be resilient. Before you know it, you will look up and a sundog will remind you that everything is OK.
Choice is freedom and freedom is beauty ~ Live Beaut-i-FULLY!
I invite you to reach out if you are interested in exploring working with me.
Spring Awakening
You may or may not know that I have been in training to pursue certification as a life coach. Design will always be a passionate pursuit, but I felt a calling to this work as well. I feel like I am having a full circle moment because I was a psych major in college, but fashion and design were my true callings; my North Star, as the very wise Martha Beck calls it. It's Martha's program that most resonated with me when I was researching under whom I wanted to train. Three degrees from Harvard and the backing of Oprah can't be wrong!
My thoughts were causing me pain over the past couple years and I felt the need to "retrain" my brain; to accept the things I cannot change (no it's not a 12 step program), but it may become a religion once I understand how to dissolve self defeating thoughts and live by the work. And by The Work I mean Byron Katie's work. It's all about turnarounds and just shifting one's perspective. It's so powerful, I decided why not share it? So, while I got into it "for me," the desire to share it and incorporate it, is an endeavor I will figure out how to do in the coming months.
What is a life coach you ask? Life coaches, unlike therapists help take you from preforming to high performing. We don't deal in the past, we don't deal with deep trauma, we help you reach desired goals. It's collaborative, goal oriented, focused on solutions, and it's fascinating!
I had a huge AHA moment recently! It really rocked me. It's like the clouds parted, heaven opened up, and the angels sang!
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| Photo capture from WestEdge Design Fair when I was in CA. with BlogtourCali & Modenus |
Unlike the fleeting blossom of the Cherry tree, enlightenment lasts and forever changes you.
"TRANSFORMATION HAPPENS WHEN YOU DARE TO BE AWAKENED TO GREATER HEIGHTS. WHEN YOU STAY OPEN NO MATTER WHAT, LETTING EACH EXPERIENCE, ESPECIALLY THE TOUGH ONES, STRENGTHEN YOU, AND ADD DEPTH AND WISDOM."
~ Oprah
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