I cannot peg when this feeling began to take hold, like a nagging ache that wouldn't quit. Sadly, weeks turned to years, as often is the case before we say enough is enough. We get tired of feeling tired, complaining, not living the life we knew we were meant to live, feeling stuck in circumstances that we don't know how to change. When we start with a solid frame, everything from there has a strong foundation to support what follows. Sometimes a complete tear down is necessary, sometimes it's just a matter of moving a few walls or sweeping out a few cobwebs. That's where I found myself. This is my story.
Picture an interior designer feeling uninspired in the exact place she is looking for clients. Imagine a Philadelphia designer disliking Philadelphia and the neighborhood in which she resides. That was me. It was defining me, leaving an impression of myself with people that was less than positive. This was not who I wanted to be. Incidentally, I don't hate Philly, it's just that I have been in this area all my life, in the same house for 27 years. I was longing for newness, unpredictability, connectedness to something else, something not yet named. My children grew up and long left. I began to feel really ashamed of myself for feeling so unhappy while simultaneously being very blessed in life. It didn't have to make sense, our feelings are our feelings! Plus, the stamina it took to be unhappy and complain was exhausting.
Why not move is the obvious question? I am always about fixing things. If you are not happy, what will it take to make you happy? This was the conundrum! The answer for me was, because I choose Steven!
Everything in life is a trade off. I have a remarkable husband and am in an amazing marriage. Philadelphia is where he works and that is where I must live if I want to live with Steven. So, on to the next question. What can one do if they want to change their circumstances but have little control? Feeling stuck sucks! The simple, yet not so simple answer is, "change your brain."
What can I do to change the way I feel about the circumstances I find myself in? I am so passionate about interior design. I love what I do, another blessing. I just had to really look at what was in my power. I will try to manifest designing vacation homes and homes outside of Philadelphia as well as those in my backyard. I will travel more, say yes to opportunities I might otherwise have turned down, dig deeper, dream bigger. Something about the universe having your back goes to work. I always wanted to travel and work, meet interesting people doing interesting things, live a life full of passion and authenticity. I found spirituality along the way. Incorporating mindfulness and being attuned to how our home holds limiting beliefs and helps us heal on a deeper level was the by product of my coach training. I found a way to merge the two seemingly disparate concepts together.
I design, I coach, I speak and I mentor. I constantly work on being a better person, a happier person, a more fulfilled person. We can all be better body, mind and spirit when we are open to growth and Design from Within. If any of this resonates ~ let's talk.