The Ebb and Flow

Moving forward, I  think I will begin a Mindful Monday message on the 1st Monday of each month. That way you can come to expect some sort of wellness post on a more regular basis.  I will give you some tips/tricks or antidotes to help you #livebeautiFULLY

Life is fluid, some days we're up, some days we're down or in my case some months.
I have not been having an easy time of late and maybe you are dealing with your own struggles.   I was thinking long and hard about how to handle my pain and grief; physically and emotionally.  I am not ready to talk about the imminent  passing of a loved one, but I will say the feelings that are brought up are overwhelming and all consuming.

I am a proactive person.  If something is broken I want to try to fix it.  If a problem is creating too much suffering, I try to change the way I think about it, but grief and sadness are meant to be felt. You cannot wish it away, put on a happy face or change your thoughts around it.  It truly is what it is.

OR is it?  Is there something you can do?  We have all heard about the importance of gratitude.  No matter what is going on, it is so important to understand the need to take a moment to recognize what we have to be thankful for.

Make a list of all the things you are thankful for.  I am talking big picture gratitude, not the daily things we might list,when we/if we, write a gratitude journal.  Whatever that looks like to you.

When things get to be too much, BREATH and with each breath say this ~

                                                      I am fine,
                                                      I am safe,
                                                      I have everything I need in this moment

It may seem like a simple thing but sometimes it's all you've got.  Next time you feel overwhelmed, anxiety ridden, or out of control, try it.  Also. being in nature psychologically does wonders!  We know that immersing yourself in nature, or even looking at beautiful pictures of nature ( if that is all you can do) reduces stress and heightens overall wellbeing.  It makes us feel connected to something bigger than ourselves and for a moment you may just forget your own problems, if even for just that moment.

and laughter... look for opportunities to laugh... life's best medicine.





#alifecoachlesson

Walking a Tight Rope

  We often say interior design is a game of smoke and mirrors.  We don't necessarily need to share with our clients what goes on behind the scenes, the chaos and mayhem, that inevitably ensures on the road to creating a beautiful, functional environment for them.  Things come in wrong, there are issues with contractors, a myriad of problems can and do occur from time to time.  We fix them! We're fixers.  I always have a plan B.  A good designer is a good listener.  Clients should feel assured "we have got this" and things are moving along seamlessly.  All that matters is the beautiful outcome, not the road to the reveal.  Unless we become friends with our clients, like any professional, we don't necessarily open up about our personal lives.  We have a job to do and we do it, with passion and pride.

Alternatively, as a life coach, everything is about authenticity, transparency and honesty.  You have to live it to give it is a phrase used often.  It makes you an authority of sorts.  If I have worked through something myself, I am in a place to help others going through the same or a similar scenario.  There are lessons in the mess.  Sharing your story may help someone else.  The intention is to be of service and hold space for someone struggling.

 With that in mind ~  I have felt like I have been walking a tight rope over the past many months.  On one hand I have been trying to juggle all the responsibilities of a designer, blogger, coach and now secretary for my husband's new business endeavor with the fact that I don't feel well!  I haven't felt well for more than a year.  I haven't consciously been hiding it but I haven't been talking about it either.  Chronic pain has kept me from some of my normal activities and has made me feel isolated and depressed.  There, I said it and I can't fix it (thus far) or control it.  I have been to as many doctors as I have fingers.  I have been poked and prodded,  I have been made to feel crazy and I have also felt heard but still... no answers.

I tell you this now because "I'm tired."  I'm tired of trying to look like I am keeping it all together when I feel like I am falling apart.  I must remind myself to be kinder, to be gentler with myself.  Not everything is getting done and that it is OK.  Self care is more important than ever when you are dealing with a situation such as health.  Our minds create a lot of judgments around pain and that fuels anxiety and fatigue.  Thoughts can get so big and scary.  So, like with anything, you have to break them down into bite size thoughts or take action in baby steps.  That way the overwhelm is kept at bay.  We can be in pain but we don't have to suffer.  That is a BIG statement and one that is not easily achieved.  To be mindful around any chronic condition is to be aware.  Be aware of your thoughts and  be aware of patterns that surface.  

One of the things I do is, ask myself, "what would my future self say to me looking back on this?" The voice inside my head says, "this too shall pass" and I feel better.  Feeling empowered and educated is much more productive and gratifying than feeling depressed and anxiety ridden.

 I think instead of suffering in silence I'll be more vocal because maybe someone else is going through the same thing. 

FYI ~ it feels scary to put this out there, but I am doing it anyway, then I am going to coach myself on what the scary feeling is all about.  It never ends : )

#lifecoachlesson

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Great Expectations

*A Coaching Lesson

You know how something happens and it stays with you, it bothers you.  That loop starts playing in your monkey 

mind, going around and around?

I was out to dinner a few weeks ago with girlfriends.  I had had a long day and was looking forward to having a delicious drink.  My drink of choice always involves Vodka, more often than not Tito's, with variations of other ingredients such as ~ a splash of cranberry juice and muddled mint (I have a slight obsession with mint), possibly a cucumber mint martini or some kind of vodka infusion, like a Stoli doli (vodka seeped in pineapples).  On this occasion I ordered whatever the name of the drink was that had vodka, elderflower, tonic and fresh lime.  I asked for it without the tonic.  I don't like bubbles and it takes the drink in another direction.  We waited a ridiculously long time for the drinks to come and when they did come, I asked the waitress, is there tonic in whatever the name of the drink was?  She responded no.  I said, "There are bubbles."  She took it away but came back quickly about to put the drink down in front of me again and said, 

"The bartender gave you a splash of soda, instead of tonic."  I asked her to take it back and have the bartender make me the drink with NO BUBBLES.  I must have said it with a slight attitude.  When I asked for the drink with no tonic, I assumed he was including all the other ingredients and just omitting the tonic, not taking it upon himself to add an ingredient that was not even included in the drink.  It did not occur to me to say "and nothing else" when ordering.  You don't order an omelette for example off the menu that reads spinach, mushroom, and American cheese and say, "I'd like it with spinach, mushroom and no American cheese."  Then the omelette comes and it has spinach, mushroom and mozzarella cheese.  This made no sense to me!  I told the lovely waitress with the drink in her hand to take it back.  I didn't want it anymore.  I felt so disappointed.  Honestly, it was an easy fix and a silly misunderstanding, but my disappointment over rode my intellect in that moment.

My girlfriend turned to me and said I was rude to the waitress.  I felt terrible!  I didn't mean to be rude to the waitress.  That was not my intention.  I don't want to be that person that is rude to waitstaff:  Ever!  Hell, I was a waitress for years and it's a hard job.  Why was I rude to the waitress?  For two days it played out in my mind.  What could I have done differently?  Why did I handle the situation the way I did?  I  don't want to be the person who brings that kind of energy into a situation. Why, why, why?  It was honestly ridiculous that I was obsessing about this for so long.

AHA!  The reason was UNMET EXPECTATIONS.  I was expecting a drink just the way I like it. That was my mistake.  Of course when something little and seemingly insignificant like this scenario occurs, it is always indicative of a bigger issue.  By Jones I think I've got it!  I am more often than not disappointed when I have an expectation about something, anything, and it is not fulfilled the way I wish it should be.  This is not a new conversation that I have with myself and is fairly common for most of us.   I have to learn to let it go, not become focused on what is not working but on what I can control and how it can work for me.  It was just a perfect little metaphor showing itself in an unexpected way. 

 People do not bend to our will.  Places and things just are what they are. There is no conspiracy to "piss us off" or cosmically conspire against us.  When expectations are not met, disappointment or frustration set in and we just have to do our best to turn our thoughts around, tell ourselves a different story.  Things happen for us, not to us.  I guess I needed a little reminder.

I need to work on replacing expectation with appreciation.  Do you?  This is not uncommon.  I may make a similar mistake in the future, but I have an awareness now that I did not have before.  I will hopefully recall this situation, behave differently, thereby not allowing this to happen again.  There's the growth!  When you know better you can do better!

CHEERS TO THAT

Do you have an issue you's like to be coached around?

Let's talk   

carrie@carrieleskowitzinteriors.com

Dreaming BIG in Chocolate

Did you know July 7th is National Chocolate Day?  Neither did I till I saw it where I get all my news now ~ social media.  It is perfect timing because I discovered not only the perfect chocolate for any gift giving occasion, but one with an inspirational backstory as well ~ all wrapped together in pretty perfect packaging.

Maggie Louise Confections is an Austin, TX based company that makes haute custom designed chocolates.  Maggie Callahan, the Cordon Bleu trained chocolatier firecracker is the woman behind the sweet brand.  Combining art and science inspires the whimsical designs that are not only a visual feast for the eye, but also have the power to soothe the soul.

Not unlike a fashion line, new collections are introduced seasonally.  Maggie is inspired by fashion, travel, entertainment, iconic references; some with a nostalgic twist.  Customization is also a big part of the business.

What I am truly inspired by, besides the obvious, is Maggie's journey from Harvard educated lawyer to confectioner.  She followed her passion, melded her analytical side with her creative side, and broke rules along the way in order to live happily and authentically.

The Going Bananas gift box benefits St. Jude's Children's Hospital, a charity which is near and dear to my heart since visiting there several years ago.  If you are interested, see the post here.  Maggie Louise Confections collaborates with artists, organizations, and celebrities in an effort to raise awareness, raise money, or simply to raise the fun factor!

The black and white packaging and the decor of the store are as fashion forward as the artisanal  chocolates made within.  This helps create a rich, full, indulgent experience.  After all isn't that what it's all about?  The candy atelier transports you out of Austin and into a Parisian salon, with its graphic, Art Deco references and jewelry like display cases.

How are you dreaming BIG?  Are you breaking the rules and following your passion?

I'm certainly inspired (and hungry).  You do know chocolate is good for you too, right?  Do what's right ~ we all have the power within to be happy and live authentically and beauty~FULLY!

An "I Can Do It" Attitude

I had a sense of this sculpture.  I had never seen it until I attended The Affordable Art Fair.  When I turned the corner and saw it, it stopped me in my tracks.  There it was, the wooded wall sculpture I had heard about that inspired my girlfriend to say, "I can make that," and DID!

Artist Pascal Pierme, a Frenchman who lives in Santa Fe, NM has art hanging in private collections, museum exhibitions and has garnered international recognition.  He was inspired by what he saw his grandfather do with a piece of wood.

Inspired by what Pascal did with a piece of wood, imagine the audacity of my girlfriend who saw one of Pascal's pieces in an art exhibit, fell in love with it and said to herself, "I can do that," and DID!  How many times has each of us seen something and said those very words?  How many of us said that and then actually went out and did it?  She knew with the right tools and know how she could make a similar wooden wall hanging.  First things first, she enrolled in a woodworking class.  Along the way she researched different types of wood and picked up a few wood working tools of her own so she could work on her project at home, because she grew impatient waiting in line for equipment at the studio.

This is the piece that started it all.  She soon got to work.  With enthusiasm, power tools and the drive to be productive, my girlfriend proudly hung her art on her guest room wall in no time.

 How do you think it makes her feel every time she looks at it?  Is there anything you said you could or would do but haven't?  What gets in the way?  Fear of failure, time constraints, lack of self confidence?  Whenever you are intimidated to do something, think about how good you will feel after it's done.  Use "as if" (you did it already) as the motivating factor.  The sense of self accomplishment, pride, confidence, courage, empowerment, you would feel.  The worst that can happen is it doesn't come out the way you had envisioned, but that's not really the point, is it?  Taking ACTION is the name of the game.  One step leads to the next step leads to the next, sometimes figuring it out along the way.

What's that saying?  We don't regret the things we've done, we only regret the things we didn't do when we had the chance.  My girlfriend is moving on to sculpting in stone as we speak.




#lifecoachlesson

#boldmoves





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